Thursday, February 11, 2010

Transitions Are Highly Overrated

Once in Fiction Writing class in college, I titled a short story "Titles Are Highly Overrated." (True story. My good-natured professor gave me an A on the paper--as well as a book on improving one's title-writing skills.)

I'm titling today's post "Transitions Are Highly Overrated." There's a reason for this. You see, I've deleted and rewritten the introduction to this post about a dozen times now, trying to weave some wickedly clever scenario wherein I can transition between two unrelated things: cookies and Chuck Norris.

As you might imagine, this is hard. Very hard.

Attempt 1: "Picture Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicking his way through the Toll House factory..." Attempt 2: "There's no 'team' in 'Norris,' just 'I'--and, hey, there's an 'I' in 'cookies,' too!")

You get the idea. This is just not happening. But my conclusion is, hey, who needs tenuous connections for the sake of smooth transitions? Down with transitions! (Please, please do not quote me on this.)

So. Chuck Norris. He's awesome. Did you know that Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open? Oh, and that Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage? And that Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird?


And (now that that's out of my system) cookies. Not related. But awesome as well.

This past week was kind of a cookie-fest. Not only did I have several orders for Indianapolis Colts sugar cookies, but I also was putting together an order of chocolate chip cookies AND assembling sample bags for a local-business promotional event.

I won't go on and on about these things. In fact, I'll limit myself to one comment per picture. Here we go.

Colts cookies, the sugar version. My comment: these are a pain in the butt to make...and the Colts lost the Superbowl. Sigh.

Chocolate chip cookies, boxed up and ready to ship. Comment: Irish butter + Madagascar bourbon vanilla + dark Belgian chocolate = multinational incredibleness (good, good cookies).

And, finally, the promo bags, which contained dark chocolate peppermint-chip cookies (in Colts blue and white, of course). Comment: don't my business cards look cute?

So, there you have it. Cookies. And Chuck. Awesome.