Overload? Ehh...

Moderation is supposed to be a mark of mature character. I do not have a mature character. Obviously.

Case in point: these cookies.

For some time, my dad has been asking me to make chocolate chip cookies for him to take to work. I think this is a friend-making tactic…or a ploy to get on his boss’s good side. Not sure which…maybe both. But anyway, I had some free time and all the ingredients, and decided to “git ’er done,” as they say.

I started with my go-to chocolate chip cookie recipe…and…er, then things got a little out of control.

It started out okay. First I dumped in a few handfuls of semisweet chocolate chips. Pretty standard. But the whole time I was stirring them in, I kept glancing over my shoulder at the open cabinet—specifically, at the orange bag beckoning, Siren-like, from the middle shelf. Ah, the sweet call of Reese’s cups. Ohhh…why not? Out they came. I chopped and dumped and stirred them in. Goooood. And, yes, perhaps I should’ve stopped there, but then there was the other orange bag: the peanut-butter M&Ms. Those simply could not be ignored. In they went.

Result: diabetes in cookie form. SO worth it.

By the way, please not that it is simply way more fun to eat cookies out of a Cookie Monster/Elmo bowl. (Yes, I do have these in my house. Yes, it is because I bought them. Yes, that was intentional. Do not judge me.)

Decisions, Decisions...

They say that a healthy lifestyle is about choices ("they" being the Health and Fitness gurus of the world). I give you Exhibit A:

Remember the Animaniacs cartoons, and the "Good Idea, Bad Idea" segment? (Yeah, I know; that show was hilarious.) Zucchini=good idea. Cookie=bad idea.

But at this point we have to ask ourselves the inevitable question: who, in their right mind, would choose the zucchini, when the two are presented side-by-side like that? Oy.

Zucchini, to be fair, is a great vegetable. I like zucchini. A lot.

But let me introduce you to the Monster Cookie:

We're talking butter, brown sugar, peanut butter...

Oats, peanut-butter chips...

Yeah, I admit we're talking ZILCH nutritional value, unless you count a little bit of fiber from the oatmeal. But they're just...so...good.

Thus I posit to you, O Health-and-Fitness guru people, that a healthy lifestyle is not about choices, but about compromise.

My compromise? Voila!

Monster cookie + multivitamin. Yes! (And maybe zucchini for dinner?)

And, yes, I'll give you the recipe.

Monster Cookies

1/2 cup butter, softened

1 cup sugar

1 cup plus 2 tablespoons brown sugar

2 cups creamy peanut butter

3 large eggs, room temperature

1 teaspoon light corn syrup

1/2 teaspoon vanilla

4 cups old-fashioned oats

2 teaspoons baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 cup chocolate chips

1 cup peanut butter chips or M&Ms

Preheat oven to 350.

Cream butter and sugars. Add peanut butter and next 3 ingredients; mix well.

In separate bowl, stir together oats, baking soda, and salt. Add to peanut butter mixture; stir to combine. Stir in chocolate chips and peanut butter chips.

Drop heaping spoonfuls onto parchment-lined cookie sheet. Flatten slightly. Bake about 12 minutes, until edges are set. (Centers will still appear wet.) Cool on pan 2-3 minutes; remove to wire rack to cool completely.

Those Three Words

Ah, the magic of those three little words. No, not those three words...the other three: chocolate chip cookies. (Am I betraying my singleness on multiple levels right now? Ah, well.)

So, are you interested in this topic? Yeah, I thought so. (If not, we need to talk.)

I've tried a lot of recipes over the years--my guinea-pig roommates could attest to that--and here's a little not-so-secret secret I've picked up: pretty much every recipe has the same ingredients. So why in the world are there so many different recipes and different kinds of chocolate chip cookies?

Well, several factors effect what emerges from the oven after you've dumped all those ingredients together and baked them: ratios and amounts (how much brown sugar to white), methods (melted, creamed, or cold butter?), baking temperature/time, etc. This is how a cookie winds up thin and crispy or thick and chewy, more or less chocolaty, and so on.

But those are issues of preference, right? I mean, I like (and when I say "like," I mean "passionately adore") gooey, chewy, thick cookies that are slightly underbaked. (A couple of those plus vanilla ice cream = mmmm.) But that's just me.

So if you ask me, "What's THE best chocolate chip cookie recipe?" I can give you my favorite, but it might not be yours, too...which means you're just going to have to do what I did and try about 53 recipes to figure it out. (And yes, yes, it's worth it).

That said, though, I do have a few tips that apply to every chocolate chip cookie. These are just a few little things that, together, can take any cookie from "good" to "could eat 25 of them without blinking an eye."

And so, in no particular order and without further ado, I present to you "Amber's Chocolate Chip Cookie A-Team":

1. REAL vanilla extract. Not, not, not the "imitation" stuff. (Ew.) My favorite is Mexican vanilla, but anything real/"pure" is good.

2. Coarse-grained sea salt. The coarse grain makes it so that you actually can taste the salt, and that sweet/salty taste contrast in a cookie is mmm...

3. European butter. Now, let's talk about this for a minute. Margarine is cheap, yes, I know. Four sticks for a buck make it really appealing. But it is NOT butter. It is not butter's less glamorous younger brother. It is not even butter's third cousin twice removed. No, no, no. While margarine might be an acceptable substitute for smearing on a piece of toast, it makes cookies (and me) cringe. Really. Butter--real butter--is the only way to go. And European butter is like European chocolate--far better than American. You usually can't find it at the regular grocery store, and it's a little more expensive, but it's worth it.

4. Instant coffee. Yep, no kidding. Cake bakers know that adding brewed coffee to chocolate cake batter really adds a great level of flavor to the baked cake. Instant coffee granules do the same thing for chocolate chip cookies. Don't use too much, or you'll end up with a coffee flavor to your cookie; just a generous pinch or two is enough to enhance the chocolate without adding any coffee flavor to the final, baked product. Oh, and cheap coffee is fine for this.

Oh, and cute little heart-shaped measuring spoons are never a bad touch. (Thanks, Amy!) Because chocolate chip cookies always should be made with love. (Awwww...!)

And, just because, here's my latest favorite chocolate-chip recipe, with a fun twist.

Caramel Treasure Chocolate Chip Cookies

¾ cup + 2 tablespoons flour
¼ teaspoon baking powder
¼ teaspoon baking soda
¼ teaspoon sea salt
1 generous pinch instant coffee granules
2 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
2 tablespoons butter-flavor Crisco
½ cup packed brown sugar
1 tablespoon white sugar
1 teaspoon pure vanilla
1 small egg, room temperature
¼ cup mini chocolate chips
12 caramel-filled chocolates (I like Dove)

1. In small bowl, stir together dry ingredients; set aside.

2. In separate bowl, cream butter, Crisco, and sugars. Add vanilla and egg; beat well.

3. Stir in flour mixture until just incorporated. Stir in chocolate. Chill dough at least 1 hour.

4. Preheat oven to 350°.

5. Remove dough from fridge. Form into balls, flattening centers and pressing a chocolate into each; gently press dough up around to cover chocolate completely. Place 2 inches apart on parchment-lined sheets. Bake about 10 minutes.

6. Cool cookies on sheets a few minutes; then remove to wire rack to cool completely.

Makes about 1 dozen large cookies

Enjoy!

Better Together

Jack Johnson got it right; a lot of things are better in pairs. Shoes, for instance. Or contact lenses. Or geese, apparently. (This is yet another odd Indiana phenomenon I've discovered: goose couples all over the place come spring. I have yet to see a lone goose. It's sort of intriguingly endearing.)

Anyway, I find that this concept carries over into the baking world, too. Case in point: two cookies are, hands down, better than one. Who wouldn't agree with that? And when they're stuck together with a heaping, gooey glop of buttercream frosting...we're reaching superlative status for sure.

This whole concept is sort of nostalgic for me. When I was little, my mom used to take us ("us" being my brother and me) to the mall on occasion to get these things called "Double Doozies." Very aptly named. Basically, they were two gigantic, soft, chocolate chip cookies with a half-inch thick layer of bakery frosting in between. I don't even want to know how many calories are in one of those things, but holy cow, it's worth it.

I've recently been on a recreate-the-Double-Doozie kick. Chocolate chip with bakery frosting was a hit, according to my brother and my dad's coworkers (my frequent recipe guinea pigs), and peanut butter turned out well, too. Last night, I bought a package of Andes mints on a whim and decided to see what those would be like in a sandwich cookie form.

The result? Mmm...

I started with a Chocolate "Crispies" cookie recipe from my Taste of Home cookbook and modified it quite a bit. I wanted chocolate cookies that would be chocolaty but not overpoweringly rich, and soft but able to hold up when sandwiched. And I didn't want them crispy...or with nuts...okay, so I changed the recipe a lot. Anyway, here's how it went:

These started out like any cookie, with the butter and sugar and eggs. Then my favorite part: some melted unsweetened baking chocolate. (I love how shiny it looks in pictures!) Usually chocolate cookie recipes call for cocoa powder, so this whole melted-chocolate thing was part of the appeal of this particular recipe.

After the dry ingredients were added, it was time for the Andes mints. This was the fun part. Dump 'em on the counter...strip 'em...chop 'em...stir 'em in.

After this, I dumped the dough in a Ziploc bag and refrigerated it. (Usually I like to chill cookie dough overnight, but I was in a hurry on these and left them in the fridge for only half an hour.)


After the dough chilled, it just needed to be formed into pretty little balls, lined up on parchment-lined baking sheets, and baked.

After that I mixed up some basic bakery buttercream (the Crisco-y stuff that I don't really like but my family loves) and added some peppermint extract and green food coloring. A heaping tablespoon of frosting between two cookies, and voila!

I think Adam approved. (Mesmerizing, no?)